Legs, my photography!

We have no faith in ourselves. I have never met a woman who, deep down in her core, really believes she has great legs. And if she suspects that she might have great legs, then she’s convinced that she has a shrill voice and no neck~Cynthia Heimel

Advertisements

Maid-a-Woe

This issue somehow comes organically to me. Dealing with the domestic staff.

You ask anyone in Delhi and there is a perpetual complaint, ‘maid bhaag gayi, tere pass hai?’ ‘Mera cook is on leave, I am so troubled.’

With me, this has been a constant issue ever since I started my household of my own and sometimes I still feel I am pretty naive when it comes to dealing with domestic help. You go to an agency to find efficient home staff and at first they introduce you to the most efficient, smart looking peeps. And you can’t believe your luck and for 3-4 months all is hunky dory and dogs are happy, the house runs smoothly and I can finally socialise too.

Then after the honeymoon phase, if you are lucky, before even a year ends the staff begins to create ruckus either- their relatives die and they gotta rush to their village or they fight with other Househelp in the house, or just ‘man nahin lagta.’ (Do I perform mujra for their man or what? )

I ask so many people what is the best formula to retain a good staff for a longer duration and nobody- trust me, not even your bestie- gives the gurumantra of this tricky question. If you are too strict they say, ‘madam bahut gussa karti hain, hence I will run.’ If you are too nice, they mistake that for desperation.

My observation is that it’s these agencies who are behind the scam of first introducing you to your dream staff and the minute he gets a new contract, he/she starts to destabilise your current staff and they then run havoc, to create scenarios to run.

At one time I held salary of one person and the agency actually threatened to falsely implicate me or my husband. We brought it to the notice of our local police station. It’s not what I did to the agency later that’s important, but what pains me is that you invest emotionally, financially and of course intellectually also by teaching them from scratch and according to your household needs and once you feel, ‘ah bliss! The girl is trained’ the girl or boy runs.

Not just that, I pay them handsome salaries and still they don’t stick, I am rather lenient too. I pay them airplane tickets for their comfort to come from their villages and all I get to hear is, ‘you did that because you needed me, not for my comfort.’

By being nice and thinking about karmic BS when I’m only subject to con people, I feel I might as well be bad. 😈. However my late father always taught me to be the bigger person, to be more gracious, magnanimous and without bothering how the other person will respond, and I have lived mostly by his teachings and lessons, but with doubt lately.

This is obviously not meant to be a sorry rich kid rant, but it’s time we face the fact that domestic staff is important, since it has been a part of Indian culture and our lifestyles are built this way.

Anubha Gujral

16/02/18

#MeToo

Recently everyone was posting about the hashtag #MeeToo and it was mind boggling to see how many people are victim of some form of sexual abuse. I decided to post my thoughts on it and yes #MeToo
It’s devastating to see how terribly humanity has failed, and how many women and men are opening up about sexual crimes they have faced. Sexual harassment of any nature is not do to with my face, my race, my colour but it’s the predator and his upbringing that is questionable! Teach your kids of both genders to open up and say NO to any sort of sexual abuse. And teach them the importance of consent, because all sexual predators are sons, daughters, spouses, and siblings. They are part of the same society that we are.

#WomenWithWomen #ItsNotAMarkOfShame #OpenUp #SpeakUpAgainstSexualAbuse

My Valentine/No Thank You!

It’s a rant day today and I have tried really hard to stay off social media lately, but it’s good to sometimes share with my online friends as in the real world I seem to be having issues with people. People who are family, your own blood relations give you hard time with their extremely nasty behaviour.

Lately I’ve been struggling with my daughter’s health all by myself and even though I can boast of a large familia, but in reality, my own haven’t called me once to ask how she is, so much so I have to even prove that I am not lying about her health. It seems I am asked to stand in a witness box to prove the reason of my absence from family events, wherein I really don’t have any obligation to meet anyone.

It’s rather frustrating, so in this desperate bid I am helping myself through this by watching positivity videos, practising manifestation to remain sane with the narcissistic, selfish people around me. Upon seeking help from a spiritual guide, I was told, ‘why do you take so much crap, give it back!’

In the same breath the same counsellor tells me, ‘why do you hold grudge, you aren’t really spiritual.’ I mean are we even humans anymore or man eats man is literally how we are living our lives? So today I wish to say to all the fucking idiots, ‘YES BITCH I AM BETTER THAN YOU, I ACKNOWLEDGE MY DAUGHTER AS MY DAUGHTER AND DON’T CALL HER MY SISITER.’