“You are allowed to set boundaries. You are allowed to wave bye-bye to anyone who doesn’t respect them without apology.”

We all meet mean people in our lives and often we think to ourselves why we didn’t stand up for ourselves or listen to the voice in our head that says, ‘next time I’ll say this and said that..’ Sounds familiar right?

After uncoupling with a dear friend recently I felt a sense of well being. It made me feel good to assert my boundaries, and feel okay with not being likeable. After all no one likes to have a negative space in their heads which comes as a result of our childhood conditioning to tolerate any amount of bad behaviour from outsiders and yet keep a smile as we have to be mandatorily be likeable.

We are not equipped for spontaneous replies sometimes, yet, don’t feel shy to call out the nasty actions of others regardless of the age, relationship, equation and gender.

Being likeable is overrated, and we often don’t even realise that we don’t like the ones we are scared of being disliked by. Adios and be the flag bearer of compassion, strength, knowledge and boundaries.



It’s so sad that again and again we have to write the same thing and then for a week or two everyone is aggressive, raising their voices for crimes against women.

Well let me start by saying that patriarchy is so deep rooted that even I cannot fight for the rights the constitution gives me, that is equal share in my father’s inheritance etc, for women are always manipulated, by the manipulative family members by using all cards for example, ‘you will rot in hell if you disrespect your parents.’ Surely I agree but imagine how most girls grow up to respect this kind of behaviour. If the girl tries to ask for her pound of inheritance, she’s considered a bad girl with no morals, relatives even blame the husband by fabricating all sorts of malicious stories. Nobody stops to acknowledge the blatant disrespect and disregard of the constitution.

In a society like ours where a woman has to fight her own blood to get her rightful constitutional right, how can we expect people to have spine to speak against workplace harassment?

#TanushreeDutta for example, I have been reading such terrible accusations against the poor girl, women calling her a whore, a veteran actor like Mr Bachchan avoids speaking up. Where is justice?

The same Mr Bachchan played the role of a lawyer in movie Pink and he narrated this famous dialogue and I quote, ‘NO MEANS NO.

These boys must realise, ‘No’ ka matlab ‘No’ hota hai. Use bolne wali ladki koi parichit ho, friend ho, girlfriend ho, koi s*x worker ho ya apki apni biwi hi kyu na ho. ‘No’ means ‘No’. And when someone says so you STOP!’



Sore About Sri

I have been reading people’s posts who are simply upset about Sridevi given the state funeral and comparing it to the army personnel’s and what not.

Let’s not take away the achievements of the departed soul. The amount of crowd that flew, gathered to get the glimpse of their favourite star was simply overwhelming. She was working since the age of four and her contribution to cinema is something most people and even stars can only think of. So many actresses (not Aishwarya Rai, Rani or even Madhuri Dixit) in this industry tried to make a comeback post their marriage breaks and just couldn’t get that kind of attention that Sridevi did with her come back movie English Vinglish.

She was a star who left behind such a great legacy and very Big shoes to fill in.

It’s so easy to be an armchair critic and pass comments and dismissing the achievements of other people. I wish people who write all this can even come close to what the mega star achieved in her five decade long career. I pray her kids are happy in whatever they choose to do.

And yes there is a growing sentiment for respect about the army men on social media lately, I would like to know how many of these armchair men themselves or sent their kids to serve the country? If you can’t do it, don’t be sore about others. It’s unfair to take away due credit from anyone’s achievement in any field.

#Sridevi #Arymen #Statefuneral

Whodunit~Rishta Kya Kehlata hai?

For the longest time I watched this serial on star plus, ‘yeh rishta kya kehlata hai.’ For the sheer chemistry, simplicity both Hina khan and Karan Mehra brought to it and was about normal people and a refreshing change in Indian television after Ekta Kapoor showed us those heavily clad vamps and so much distrust began within families seeing the conniving women.

However hearing the rumours about Karan Mehra being a wife beater, cheater came as a shock to me and for a second I totally believed his wife was the one who was a liar. But it’s not my place to judge who is right in this case, still I could recall a lot of men who are-were acquaintances who seemed so docile, timid and a wife worshipping man and they were always having a side affair online, offline and never had the balls to admit or even talk about it to their significant other. Such men can be suffering from serious inferiority complex, lack of self esteem and the other woman (who herself is a loser) is feeding such a weak man validation only to realise that this affair is going nowhere when money matters are concerned the marriage is always stronger than these lose affairs. The other woman and the wife is the one who is wronged by such a so called timid man as he’s cheating on both technically. Such a man is so spinesless that all his friends, know about his bad marriage but the person he is married to. Actually women too are very bad these days in times of social media, they are always lurking around to find one sugar daddy who can afford her a meal at a decent restaurant, such women often call sex workers as, ‘slut.’ Ironical~!

Still what if Karan Mehra is innocent as he seems and has done nothing, then women like Nisha Jaiswal really make it difficult for so many women who are actual victim of domestic abuse, they’ve no support system from their parents, relatives or friends. They have to rot in that violent marriage till they die only for survival and 4 rotis. Most Indian marriages are so bad, I feel not a single household where there are no instances of cheating, abuse, violence. There the woman’s side of the story isn’t believed because some woman lied and made the law and society believe that women are the ones who are culprits. Even law enforcement agencies won’t believe a woman of being a victim of domestic violence until she has evidence. Like how does one collect evidence in the face of violence and abuse is mind rattling.

People, especially media should always report such matters responsibly and not without knowing the truth, as the fate of millions of innocent people is at stake.

#KaranMehra #NishaJaiswal #DomesticVoilence #Abuse #extramaritalaffair #Karamehraarrested #responsiblereporting

Home is as sweet as you treat it’s maker!

Today I went to meet a friend for an intimate conversation which was related to our lives. After we were done with our sharing and chatting we headed towards the restaurant of a reasonably famous hotel in South of Delhi.

To my utter amusement, the manager of that hotel was a woman and is very familiar over the years. She happened to know this friend of mine who happened to be in a middle of some transition in life and is taking some break after working for years.

The hotel manager was familiar to my friend and she pulled herself a chair (which I thought was very rude) to inquire about my friend’s life and she didn’t stop there itself, she started grilling her only to end with a very nasty remark to my friend and I quote, ‘so you now basically do nothing?’ I was stunned more than my friend because this whole question of undermining a homemaker has been irritating me for years.

This is to all those women who have extremely bitter attitude towards homemakers, like what do you think a homemaker really is? She’s an unpaid employee of her husband and kids, she has no weekends, no breaks, no work hours.

There would be some who would argue, ‘it double the work for a working woman.’ No! A woman who leaves home to earn money also doesn’t have it easy, yet most have househelp or mother’s or in-laws who double up as nannies. They get paid for their work.

How many homemakers in the world even know that they are entitled to maintenance, like a little salary and an average homemaker in our country works 45 hours extra per week in a study, which if was to be converted into a salary, can you imagine what her worth is? A homemaker does all the school projects of her kids, teaches them in the absence of a father who thinks it’s okay to leave his responsibilities on the homemaker. A homemaker not only cares for her in-laws is also present at her parents beck and call and is a 24 hour concierge to the needs of the man who’s house she makes as a home. Remember this, be bloody mindful when you doubt and if you still CANNOT control your nastiness, go see a home where a homemaker has willingly chosen to walk away with grace to find her dignity.

What did a homemaker do all day, dare you to ask! Will you, after a clean house, laundry done, kids sorted, dinner sorted, dogs sorted. She works with more arms that you see in Goddesses’s. The world view is changing, how about you?

Bombay Begums or Bygones

Bombay Begums

Though it was a great watch. I did not like the message the series conveys by showing a poor bar dancer who was endlessly haggled by some arrogant politician (politicians are public servants, stop showing them as God like figures) and then they compare the women on top corporate jobs with a similar lens, that all successful women reach the top by sleeping around with influential men only! Barring one person who is from IIM, and how that woman is a covert narcissist.

What a terrible message to the society who doesn’t read much into the deep meanings of these dramas, that women necessarily have to have a male mentor to reach the top, only an IIM is spared from a sexual predator and our girls who cannot get into IIM or are from second tier cities have to face humiliation and not cut to have dignified jobs? Is this really what I want our daughters to believe? No!

I don’t want to discuss the truth and reality as our entertainment world can create the reality they want in the society by showing meaningful stuff. Do watch it one time for sure and yes it looked more like a porn movie than the series.

The actors have all been so effortless and flawless. Pooja Bhatt has a smashing comeback with this, hope to see more of her.

Create aspirations, don’t kill dreams.

Niceness an outdated virtue?

I’ve been watching some motivational videos, and video after video one thing that is striking by all life coaches is, ‘don’t be too nice.’ That just shakes the whole value system I have grown up with.

I realise the difference of being too nice and just nice, but look at the irony of the dark times we live in, where we are taught to be less nice if we don’t want anyone to take advantage of us.

I also saw a little snippet of a daily soap where they show a little child being vicious and villainous and knows all the conniving tricks, obviously taking cue from the mother. It got me thinking the impact playing this character will have on her personal life and how she will learn about all the immoral things humans do to make themselves better off. Does this child go home and think about her poor characterisation when she’s alone? Do thoughts of actual immortality cross her innocent mind and will she grow up taking any of those bad traits from her character? That the broadcast ministry should ban such shows is a long topic of debate for another day and time. These are things we are facing and it’s such a sorry time to live in.

Having said that, I am trying very hard and might have to take the help of some specialist to train myself into shedding some of my moral lessons of niceness if I want to live a good stress free life. Honestly, it’s already stressing me out and hence I am writing this.

I would really like to know what your thoughts are.

Much love.

#Guiltfree #NicenessByeBye


Have you ever encountered that friend, colleague, relative who gives you unsolicited advice, act cheap, gossip about you, criticise you to a point where you are left with your jaw on the floor? Isn’t ‘mutual respect’ a two-way street?

If the answer is yes, then it’s time for introspection as to what is it that you are doing that’s leading other people to misbehave with you.

I thought about it endlessly and I wasn’t able to identify a concrete reason, but I read a lot of material on why people are mean. ‘Don’t discuss your problems with people,’ and as the famous saying goes, 70% are glad you have them and 20% won’t bother. The minute you share a personal problem with someone you think you can trust, it’s a direct invite for your so-called well wishers to run you down. They rub salt on your injuries by acting superior or giving you unsolicited advice based on their perfect life and downplaying your accomplishments, health or any other crisis by saying, ‘it’s all in your head, you make things up.’

This also happens when we try hard to fit in a group, and that comes from our deep rooted need for validation. Don’t seek validation outside- you are your own person, start by loving yourself and do something that automatically boosts your confidence.

This is not to say that there are only bad apples in the world. Some people have a lot of empathy, compassion and they do really care. However, people are largely becoming brash, insensitive and treat your hardship as their entertainment.

If you have any such friend, relative, family member who fits in the above category, it’s time to leave. You could choose to be direct or simply limit your interactions to a bare minimum.

There are number of reasons why empaths are decreasing:

1- People are obviously letting someone down to make themselves feel better.

2- Simple jealously! It doesn’t require rocket science to spot that jealous pal who would wish hell to fall upon you, while they still can be very nice to you to your face.

3- The gossip mongerers. If they are maligning someone in front of you, be rest assured you are being maligned some place else too. So say no to any gossip- it can harm someone’s feelings and reputation.

4- I see a lot of people are so busy in dissecting other’s lives, that they forget about their own mental growth. What is mental growth? Reading, educating yourself and improving your quality of life.

5- Most people don’t believe in merit and think whatever you’ve achieved is an outcome of some jack or source. They are the ones who’ve inherited everything from their ancestors, hence that inferiority complex makes them nasty to anyone who is self made.

Classic example of this is the Bhakt vs Liberal debate amongst Indians. People are ready to sacrifice their relationships, and don’t hesitate calling you names just because you have a different opinion. 

Also when it happens to you, just make sure to:

1- Pray for their well being, as that shouldn’t let your soul power to deplete. Create good vibrations and protect your aura.

2-You could express your displeasure honestly and hope they take it in good spirit.

2- You can silently reduce contact. It’s better to have no friends than have toxic ones.

Any person who doesn’t contribute to your growth, mental, spiritual or emotional is anyway not worth sitting with.

Then there are people who expect you to be good hosts but will never take the helm. People who bother you with requests of a treat when something good happens with you, waste your time when it’s convenient for them, whine about their life, yet happily dine and wine at your cost without any shame and never think it’s appropriate for them to reciprocate. They crawl silently into your life like a poor version of Sherlock Holmes, to find out what’s happening in your life, what all you possess and how they can now sabotage your reputation. You need to get rid of such people ASAP.

It’s sad that relationships are fast losing their meaning. But hey, grab that book or a YouTube video and other educational material and you have a friend, family without any malice.

#FriendsOrFoes #StopFeedingBadEnergy #MeanPeople #Friends #LifeRules

SriDevi The legend

It’s definitely not the best time to say this, but I am like many of you have been extremely-extremely disturbed/sad by Sridevi’s untimely demise. The cause is speculated to be Fat embolism, caused by keto diet. Her lip surgery last month also went wrong. I mean really?!!

Now we as a society put so much pressure on stars to look so good, larger than life persona. If they look just like any normal human, there is bad press.

Gone are the days when actresses aged gracefully, they didn’t shy away from the little bulge, the salt and pepper look, their low key life, we didn’t die to see them outside a famous gym or a dietician. I loved how Aishwarya took her own sweet time to shed her weight after giving birth. They are humans too and so are we, it’s alright to just be yourself and be unaffected by any judgements. Be kind guys. We truly lost a mega life today because of society pressure.

Image source-Google

#SriDevi #EndOfMegaStar